Friendship application

Please fill this out to the best of your ability and return to DON’T LIE. I’ll be able to tell.
Your name:
Most interesting social media handle:
1. The latest you would ever call Reanna in the evening is.
A) 7 pm
B) 9 pm
C) 10 pm
D) Trick question. I would only text, and I know Reanna has a DND setting on her phone beginning at 8:30 p.m.
2. You walk into Reanna’s house and notice everything is covered in dog hair and graham cracker crumbs. You feel…
A) Disgusted. You’ll just stand up the whole visit.
B) Aroused. Here’s a freebie: This is the wrong answer.
C) Confused. Reanna doesn’t have a dog?
D) Relieved. You won’t have to clean your house if she ever visits.
3. The best approach to resolving conflict in a friendship is:
A) Stop communicating until enough time has passed that you can both pretend it never happened.
B) Immediately pretend it never happened.
C) Use humor or sarcasm to suppress any real emotions.
D) Have a mature and respectful conversation full of “I feel” statements, but goddamn if I’ll ever be emotionally mature enough to use that approach.
4. Please choose the least reprehensible situation on this list:
A) You are driving in the rain at night.
B) Despite the rain, you arrive safely, but it’s to a party where you only know the host.
C) The party is a LulaRoe sales party.
D) The party ends early due to a small house fire in which no one is injured.

5. True or false: It’s OK to drop in unannounced.
6. You have two free hours to yourself and you can’t take a nap. Which of these activities is most appealing?
A) Mimosa mani-pedis with your friends
B) Go to Target and impulse-spend $75 on household goods then go through the McDonald’s drive thru and eat in secret
C) Hit the gym, intending to sit in the sauna, but you forgot a towel, so you slowly walk on a treadmill while scrolling Instagram
D) Are you sure I can’t nap?
7. Essay question: Disclose an embarrassing moment or confess a guilty pleasure that you think may make you relatable, or at least, unintimidating. Bonus points if it elicits laughter.
This concludes the test portion of the application. Below, please list five references–that is, five cultural references that you believe are central to your identity.
Here’s an example: “Workin’ on my night cheese.”
(You may link to gifs as appropriate.)
Thank you for your interest in befriending Reanna. The committee will review your application and respond within 2-3 weeks.
Friendship application